Personal project Proposal - Feedback

This is the feedback I was given for my proposal which after reading my work again is a very fair assessment especially as I too thought the ending was too much with both of those things going on.
After thinking about it I decided I want my film to be serious not cheesy b-movie style so I'm going to change some of the language and how I describe things. I still want it to be quite gory but done in a more sophisticated way with a serious believable story line and believable characters and the language and words I chose is key to that. I'm also changing the colour of the slugs from black to white as I think this makes more sense if they have been living in the darkness all this time and are sensitive to light because when you see most deep sea creatures they tend to be a whitish almost transparent colour. I also think this makes them seem more creepy as well because white slugs are less common than black slugs. I'm hoping with these changes it will be a much more serious and polished proposal for a film.