A really unusual proposal idea. Well done for the originality. The tag line is really good. The log line is a bit weak. Your writing style is clear and you make good consideration of art direction and sound as well as image. Overall I wonder if the language you use could convey a little more of the mental anguish of the man and instil a greater sense of disturbance in the reader. Otherwise really well done.
65%
After reading this feedback I have decided to make some changes to my original proposal, I will change the log line so it makes a bit more sense and try and add a few more bits to describe how the man is feeling and what he is personally going through.
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